Pirates Vs. Ninjas… Vs. Vikings?

Scene: I wander upstairs, groggy and looking for tea. Mum and Dad are sitting in the kitchen sitting room, watching tv with their cats.

Mum: So, I was thinking that we should start a campaign for Vikings vs. both Pirates AND Ninjas.

Me: Uh. Mum, Vikings are basically a kind of Pirate.

Mum: No, because Pirates are out on the sea but Vikings land their boats.

Me: Yes, and then rape and pillage and plunder. Pirates.

Mum: Yes but Pirates could catch the Vikings. On the sea.

Me: You realise Pirates and Vikings didn’t really exist at the same time, right? When did the Vikings land in North America Mum.

Mum: The 16… err 1400s? 400?

Me: No. 1100. Columbus sailed in 1492. Pirates didn’t really exist until there was a mercantile class, until there was major trade for them to steal and the West Indies were being settled. Like the 15th to 17th century and after. Before then there wasn’t enough seafaring for pirates. Vikings are like proto-pirates.

Dad is chuckling and keeping quiet, playing a game on his phone.

Mum: Yeah well, did Pirates and Ninjas exist in the same time period? *looking all smug*

Me: Yes. Yes they did Mum. Maybe they didn’t meet each other, but yes, the same time.

Mum: I think Dad is going to make crepes for breakfast. Could you get the jam out of the fridge?

Me: /facepalm… Really? You’re losing so you change the sub… I need tea >.<

My Mum really is an intelligent person, but sometimes she just doesn’t think logically.

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